Keeping All the Balls in the Air

I've been looking at my calendar a lot lately. Mostly to check and make sure that I am not forgetting the next thing. One of my favorite things about May is that many things begin to come to an end...school and church activities, chorus, etc... but this year and for the past few years it seems to be a month of gearing up for even more GREAT things. While I love all the activity and it is so much fun for my kids, it is exhausting and I am finding myself running from one soccer practice to another t-ball game to yet another soccer game etc... I guess I am the picture of the typical soccer mom- minivan going non-stop, laundry in full swing to make sure the jerseys are clean, forgetting half the gear and making a lot of u-turns, throwing kids snacks and water bottles to keep them hydrated and nourished (wish I could say it was always homemade and healthy). All I can say is that I'm looking forward to a few days of nothing...maybe in July. In the meantime, I'll enjoy watching my kids play, cheer from the sidelines as I check my calendar to see what's next and remember that these days are fleeting and I'm thankful to have this crew to transport and nourish and love. I'll keep doing my absolute best to not miss the ball while I dream of July! Batter up!

Realization/Rude Awakening

When did IT happen? I don't even remember the exact day or time. But at some point recently(at least in the last ten years)something horrible happened to me. I became something I never wanted to be. As a little kid and even later, my favorite story EVER was Peter Pan. I loved the imaginary tales of fairies and lost boys and I longed to join them in Neverland. "Second star to the right and straight on 'til morning." I loved the movie Hook and knew I would never become one of "those" parents. Last night I watched Finding Neverland for the first time and other than renewing my admiration for Johnny Depp and crying my eyes out, I came to the horrific realization that I, in fact, have become what I have always wanted to avoid being. I am hoping it is not too late to turn back...I don't mind being an adult, but a Grown Up? Dreadful! I know the classic signs...telling the kids "just a minute" when I really mean "when i get around to it", doing the laundry or cleaning up for the zillionth time just to put off reading that same book AGAIN. And, one of the top ten words I use everyday is "inappropriate". Worse than anything, I have forgotten how to play. I know you are saying to yourself, "that will never happen to me." But, when was the last time you dropped everything to join in a game of tag or enjoyed doing more than the difficult task of just dressing the Barbies? When did you pretend that you were eating fake food and actually taste the thing you were eating? It has been far to long for me. I've given it a consorted effort today to play, and sadly it is not something that comes naturally to me anymore. I actually ended up cleaning the girls' bedroom instead of joining in the dollhouse fun with my three year old. I am planning to keep trying but I am living in fear that there is no turning back. Please let it not be so!

Where's Waldo?

You remember that book-toting, red-striped shirt, glasses wearing guy in the search and find books from the 90's? Guess what! I married him! Then we had kids! Aren't they cute?

Superheroes In The Making

Am I raising superheroes? Are my children going to move forward into adulthood and make a difference in this world? Will they have the diligence and fortitude to become the leaders of tomorrow? I guess as a mom I hope that they will someday make a difference in their society, but in what way? I don't really hope to have a say in the career choices they make, knowing that I can direct them but that ultimately it is their decision about what to "become". When it comes to those choices, I don't believe that they matter as much as our society wants to make us think they do. Of course I want my kids to choose to contribute to their families, communities and the general population of our society through their occupations but I don't think that it is the most important thing. My best hope for them is that they are able to live lives of integrity, putting others before themselves and giving more than they take. I pray that they put God's will for their lives before their own and allow Him to work through them.

By listening to them play today, my oldest daughter (age 9) could become the dictator of some small tropical nation... she will be very happy for others to serve her every desire, basking in the sun and sipping something tasty and festive! If she were to win an award it would be for persuasion because she is able get her siblings to do a lot of unnecessary things for her. My son (age 5) may finally break free from the older-sister-strangle-hold long enough to think for himself and design the newest action figure while inventing some incredible swimming pool that "turns off and sucks all the water in like a straw and every time you go there, there's marshmallow cake"...you know the important things in life. His award would be for constant motion or superior tree climber. My youngest daughter, age two, will love the world as she spreads her infectious joy everywhere she goes, hopefully hugging more people than trees. Her favorite expression "don't wouwy about it" will be her mantra. No matter what she chooses it will include lovingly taking care of someone and tucking them in tight. Her special award would be for laughter because she brings so much to so many.

Superheroes? Maybe not to the rest of the world. I do pray that they will make an impact in a way that matters more than fulfilling their own desires. I hope that they will learn that serving others is more important than serving themselves. I have to ask myself, am I living a life that influences their choice to live generously? In a world that says to live life for yourself without regard for the needs of everyone around you, to take as much as you can get and don't look back, it is not an easy task but it is definitely something to aspire to. Thankfully, God is not finished with me yet. Thankfully he is still working on my children as well. If they don't kill each other in the process I know they will become superheroes in their own unique ways. I will enjoy watching them from the sidelines, cheering them on and knowing that no matter what their choices they are already heroes to me. I am so proud to be their mom.

Two Years Later

Okay so blogging isn't my best thing. I love reading blogs but just haven't gotten into it myself...I started this blog almost exactly two years ago and have yet to write another entry. So, here is entry number two. Maybe I won't wait two years before writing another one! Just to update anyone who might read this, I am the mom in my family of five...with three terrific kids, my husband Jamie and myself trying to make our way in this crazy world while enjoying some sweet moments in the process. Maybe I'll write a little more about each of the players in my messy life soon and possibly share some of my messy thoughts and ideas about the life I find myself in.

New blog

I just started this blog...I thought it would be fun to write about my life...not that it there is usually much to write about but sometimes the everyday things get forgotten and they are usually worth remembering. My kids can say and do some pretty funny things and if I don't write them down I usually forget about them. Plus, I got this beautiful new laptop for Valentine's Day and I'm trying very hard to use it as much as possible. So here goes...