Realization/Rude Awakening

When did IT happen? I don't even remember the exact day or time. But at some point recently(at least in the last ten years)something horrible happened to me. I became something I never wanted to be. As a little kid and even later, my favorite story EVER was Peter Pan. I loved the imaginary tales of fairies and lost boys and I longed to join them in Neverland. "Second star to the right and straight on 'til morning." I loved the movie Hook and knew I would never become one of "those" parents. Last night I watched Finding Neverland for the first time and other than renewing my admiration for Johnny Depp and crying my eyes out, I came to the horrific realization that I, in fact, have become what I have always wanted to avoid being. I am hoping it is not too late to turn back...I don't mind being an adult, but a Grown Up? Dreadful! I know the classic signs...telling the kids "just a minute" when I really mean "when i get around to it", doing the laundry or cleaning up for the zillionth time just to put off reading that same book AGAIN. And, one of the top ten words I use everyday is "inappropriate". Worse than anything, I have forgotten how to play. I know you are saying to yourself, "that will never happen to me." But, when was the last time you dropped everything to join in a game of tag or enjoyed doing more than the difficult task of just dressing the Barbies? When did you pretend that you were eating fake food and actually taste the thing you were eating? It has been far to long for me. I've given it a consorted effort today to play, and sadly it is not something that comes naturally to me anymore. I actually ended up cleaning the girls' bedroom instead of joining in the dollhouse fun with my three year old. I am planning to keep trying but I am living in fear that there is no turning back. Please let it not be so!